If you’re going through a divorce right now you already know how stressful and painful it can be because you’re dividing your family in half. If you’re already separated from your partner you probably miss your children and pets whenever your partner has custody and you don’t; right? For some parents this is torturous because you may find yourself worrying about your children and pets every hour that they’re gone. Sometimes the hours of the night creep along and a separated spouse may not be able to sleep normally for months and months; is that you?
For a small group of you any custody that your partner wins is fraught with real concern based on their dangerous behaviors and sketchy friends who may have played a large part in your separation. If there are any addictive behaviors that you’ve observed or mental illness then you know what I refer to as “the desperation of divorce and co-parenting”. Because you love your children and your pets you know that this can feel as if you need King Solomon to help with decisions affecting your children.
The worst part of your divorce will occur if your partner learns about Dirty Divorce Trick #1, Lies about Domestic Violence. If you’re lucky enough to know nothing about Domestic Violence or psychological abuse you need to learn about the new twist to this evil path. Millions of spouses who have never suffered from abuse of any kind are currently being advised to exaggerate and even lie about Domestic Violence during divorce. Before you assume that I am not speaking to you and if you are committed to avoiding this misery or if you need training to make it stop please read this NOW:
#1 Dirty Divorce Trick: Lies about Domestic Violence
Remember that Lying about YOU Is Illegal
Some of you are enduring the painful lies that your spouse has created in an attempt to throw more money and more custody into their side of the bargain. BE CAREFUL! You need to know about this now so that you know how to handle this #1 Dirty Divorce Trick if your spouse hits you below the belt.
1. Does your spouse have any proof of Domestic Violence? For those of us who have suffered from Domestic Violence or psychological abuse there is always proof; if there is no proof why is your partner lying and how cn you transform the lies to truth?
A. Are there X-rays that prove broken bones?
B. Are there photographs that prove bruising?
C. Are there psychological factors and PTSD symptoms?
Victims of Domestic Violence have authentic proof.
2. A spouse who lies and gossips that you are violent or verbally abusive. The purpose of this is to:
A. Frighten you into giving away more money and/or more custody
B. To ruin your reputation so that any mediator or judge would be prejudiced against you and you would forfeit money and custody in the divorce agreement
C. Because most partners have forgotten about love by the time they are in the divorce process and an angry partner often looks for ways to make you suffer.
3. A partner who has planned for separation and divorce for years before they drop the axe is busy compromising your reputation while you are still in a fool’s paradise, thinking that your marriage is great! BEWARE! Here is how this goes:
A. Note if any of your friends, relatives or business associates have an unusual expression on their face and if they look disgusted with you or angry at you or cold to you; then you’ll want to start paying much more attention to your marriage and to your partner and begin to transform the anger before it’s too late for a peaceful divorce.
B. If you see any strange, quizzical or angry expression from your partner or anyone your partner knows, if it doesn’t seem warranted you’ll want to finesse for information FAST using Empathy Part II of The 6 Part Conversation©! https://heartspacesolutions.com/training/ “Honey, it seems that you are feeling frustrated and I’m guessing that you want more ______ I that right? (You don’t have to be psychic and you must have a good guess ready for your partner’s need which is easy when you listen to complaints. Do they need more peace, more understanding, more kindness, more fun, more financial security, more respect…..)
C. Once you discover that your partner is spreading stories about you please understand that if there is dangerous gossip then this could become WAR and you must create PEACE! In order to do this you want to use more, more and more Empathy Part II of The 6 Part so that you calm your partner and can listen to the problems which are always the 1st step to resolving them in a cooperative way.
D. If you are willing to learn these 6 skills, The 6 Part Conversation©, you will turn around the entire problem and soon no one will believe these stories for long because you’ll be able to connect more deeply and more peacefully with everyone; even with your partner and that creates peace and cooperation instead of war.
In most of The United States and in many other countries Defamation of Character and/or Parental Alienation Syndrome are ILLEGAL. To read my next articles on Defamation of Character and Parental Alienation Syndrome please email me at [email protected]
For a free private 1 hour telephone training in The 6 Part Conversation© or to learn how to create a peaceful no-court divorce please visit
https://heartspacesolutions.com/coaching/ and I welcome all your questions
Susan Allan
CEO The Marriage Forum, Inc. a 501 c 3 nonprofit
