You consider your boyfriend a 'fixer-upper' type of guy with a whole lot of potential. And despite his flaws, you keep asking wondering, "Is he the one?", or is there too much about him that's just not quite right.
But you think he has a whole lot of potential and that your boyfriend could be a keeper, so you swear to your girl friends that the next time they see him, they won’t even recognize him. Good luck with that!
You mean that he will:
- Have a better job (or any job, really).
- Have better clothes ... that you will buy for him.
- Be adorable and friendly.
- Eliminate all the habits and behaviors that are his ticking bombs.
Your friends know that you’re lonely and desperate to have a boyfriend. And you know that they didn't like your last boyfriend .... or the three before him.
Forget about what your friends think! This is about your life and your future.
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If you think your fixer-upper guy could be a keeper and find yourself wondering, "Is he the one?", here are 5 deep questions to ask yourself before you commit to your boyfriend long-term.
1. Does he have anger issues?
Men who have anger issues are usually frustrated by their lack of success in life. Usually, his anger causes limit his career options. At other times his lack of success leads to frustration and anger.
Do you want to end up with a partner who possesses neither financial success, emotional stability, nor a promising future?
Even if he begins as a romantic partner, moodiness is the opposite of an aphrodisiac. So, if you can...avoid!
2. Do you want to 'fix' him?
Force yourself to face facts: If you were thinking of buying a house that’s a fixer-upper, you would listen to the termite company, the roofer, or the plumber and you would consider the cost of upgrades and repairs before making a decision to buy.
Don’t just commit yourself. Make sure that this man is a fit for you by researching him in a practical and rational manner, too.
3. Does he have a record of some kind?
Research his online data, such as a criminal record search. Yes, even nice guys need to be checked out.
Even if all he has are unpaid traffic or parking tickets, be aware of the potentially confused thinking that underlies people who refuse to pay small bills. This often means that they have other huge debts to the IRS or others.
RELATED: Answering These 14 Questions Will Tell You For Sure If He's 'The One' For You
4. Are you the only one?
Do a full-scale social media check, including a review of his friends on Facebook.
If his friends are mostly women or if they are less than legitimate, do you want this in your life?
5. Does he raise any red flags?
Do not ignore the red flags! When you are using online dating sites, do you know how to avoid people who aren't safe options for you? Have you trained yourself to pay close attention to every word in someone’s profile and email and phone call?
Dating is a research assignment and you have to be willing to see what your research turns up.
RELATED: 18 Comforting Signs He's Your Perfect Match
Susan Allen is a certified Mediator, communication expert, and founder of Heartspace Solutions. Email her to learn more about her Prodating© approach to finding 'the one', which offers you all the tools and skills you need to find the most wonderful life partner.