They say love is a risk you should always be willing to take. But even if it is, we should be cautious in choosing who to take risks for, because love is a precious thing and we deserve only the best.
You may have been dating a guy for a while and you know your feelings for him are strong, but how do you know if he's "the one"?
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When you’re truly in love with someone, sometimes you just know. But other times, it may take a little while to realize that this is the person you’re meant to be with.
Is he the one? Well, you’ll know for sure if you can be your true, authentic self around him, feel comfortable even when you feel your worst, don’t have expectations to change each other, and see a future together.
Is it too early to know if he's the one?
Of course, if you’ve only been dating a short while, it’s probably too soon to assume that he’s the one. In the first year, at least, you’re still getting to know each other, your quirks and habits, and any deal-breakers that haven’t yet revealed themselves.
If you’ve only been dating for three-to-six months, It’s too early to tell if this person is “the one.” Give your relationship time to grow before jumping the gun. After all, falling in love with someone doesn't necessarily mean they are the one for you.
How do you know if he isn't the one for you?
He isn’t the one for you if he exhibits any abusive behavior; this shouldn’t be accepted as normal, nor should it be tolerated. If you experience abuse, he’s not the right person for you.
In addition, he isn’t the one for you if he judges who you are, tries to change you, doesn’t enjoy being around you, or if you fight constantly, don’t trust one another, and don’t want the same things in life.
So, use this list of 18 simple but undeniable signs he's the one to find out for yourself if you’ve finally found the right guy.
1. You’re completely comfortable with him.
You can be the real you when you’re with him. You’re not ashamed of showing your just-woke-up face and he’s also comfortable with it.
He tells you you’re beautiful even when you feel ugly. He still finds you attractive even when you’re in pajamas. And, most importantly, you don't feel like you need to pretend to be someone else when you’re with him.
2. He supports your dreams.
He doesn’t stop you from reaching your dreams, even if it means he'll have to make some sacrifices.
Whether you have to be physically apart from him for while because of work or you can't watch his favorite series with him for a few weeks or months because you have to study, he finds ways to make sure you feel like he’s still there. He motivates you to reach your dreams and supports you in any way he can.
3. He talks about you often.
You may not always know when he’s talking about you, but if your mutual friends tell you he tends to do so whenever you’re not around, then you’re one lucky girl, and he may be an especially good match for you.
Not all guys have the guts to talk to their friends about a girl, and if he does, it's usually because he’s completely into her.
4. He loves spending time with you, even if you only have a few minutes.
Does he surprise you with a cup of coffee in the morning before work? Does he bring you flowers at unexpected times of the day? Does he send off a short text message reminding you to eat lunch because he knows you sometimes forget?
If so, it's a sign he may be the one, because, for him, taking time out of his own busy day to see you, spend time together, or let you know he cares is obviously a priority for him.
5. He sees you as his best friend.
He tells you everything! He can laugh with you, dance with you, sing out of tune in front of you, and even cry in front of you. He shares whatever is going on in his life with you, both the good news and the bad.
He cheers you up when you’re sad and celebrates with you when you’re happy. If you treat each other like a team, do not ever let go of that person. Losing him wouldn't just be losing true love, it would mean losing your best friend.
6. He loves your family and your family loves him.
He genuinely wants to get to know your family. He respects your parents and tries to blend in whenever he’s at their house. He values family, so he won’t ever make you choose between him and them.
Your family also likes him. If they tell you he’s a good match for you, that's a telling sign he's probably the one.
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7. He’s honest and doesn’t feel a need to pretend around you.
Sometimes guys can be disingenuous and claim they like what you said or what you did just to get you into bed. But while they seem enthusiastic about your hobbies and pursuits at first, over time you may realize their interest was feigned because they were just pretending to be what they thought you wanted.
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The right guy will be honest and authentic with you from the start. He won’t pretend to be interested in things he isn't. He'll do his best to try to some of the things you love — not because you’re forcing him to, but because he wants to be connected with you.
8. He’s endlessly curious about you.
You may have told him everything about you, but he still asks a lot of questions to keep getting to know you better. He’s interested in the tiniest details about you, from your favorite grade school teacher to your most embarrassing memory to anything under the sun!
9. He’s not jealous of your exes.
He’s not just a good match for you, he’s an emotionally mature and available adult. He’s comfortable talking about your exes. Knowing about your past relationships doesn’t bother him because he trusts you.
10. He takes note of the things you like.
He makes an effort to find out what you like, whether it's your favortie kind of chocolate, flowers, or perfume, and he tries his best to surprise you with things he knows you'll like.
11. He accepts you for who you are.
He doesn’t bring up the past or judge you for your previous mistakes. He accepts you just the way you are. He doesn’t try to change you. Although change is important if you’re changing for the better, he’s doesn't manipulate you to change habits he doesn't like.
If he stays calm and is willing to talk things out when you do mess up, it's a good sign he's the one.
12. He makes you laugh, and he can also be serious with you.
There's a balance between humor and seriousness in your relationship. He can make you feel silly and happy, and can also make you feel secure.
There are no boring times when you’re with him, and he always does his best to be there to comfort you when you need him.
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13. He’s a positive force in your life.
It can be toxic to be with someone who always sees the negative in things. If he’s someone who constantly rolls his eyes and complains about how everything sucks even when things are going pretty well, you may better off without him.
If he’s someone who can help you see the positive in even the toughest situations, he may be the perfect guy for you.
14. You’re compatible in bed.
You have this unexplainable chemistry. From how the types of kisses you share to what happens when the lights go down, if the two of you are on the same page in the bedroom, it's definitely a good sign.
15. He’s not jealous of your guy friends.
Let’s be real, most women have some good male friends, and most guys have some good female friends. If he gets that instead of getting jealous, it's a sign he may be a good match for you.
16. He doesn't go to sleep mad.
Misunderstandings happen. If believes issues should be addressed and resolved as soon as possible, and therefore tries his best to make things right before you call it a night, that's a good thing.
If the guy in your life doesn’t want either of you to going to sleep feeling disappointed or ending the day without making amends, he just might be the one.
17. He talks to you often — about everything and anything.
He loves listening to your stories and sharing his own stories as well. If he enjoys talking to you and tries his best not to let a day will pass without hearing your voice, it's a sign he might be the one.
18. He has a vision of your future together.
If he’s the one for you, he won’t play games. He can share his vision with you very clearly. He’s open and honest with you about what he does and doesn't want with you in the future.
He will tell you whether he’s imagined marrying you and having kids with you, or if he's not there yet. He will never leave you guessing.
If you can spot all of the signs listed above in your relationship with someone, there's a good chance this guy could be the one. Your perfect match is someone who loves and nourishes you inside and out, and someone for whom you do the same.
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Micah Mikaela is a frustrated-everything 20-something socially anti-social girl from the Philippines. Management Accountant by morning, self-employed writer by night, and so much more in between.
This article was originally published at Thought Catalog. Reprinted with permission from the author.
