If you’ve ever been in love there’s a chance you’ve had a broken heart. Please think about how long ago you broke up with that partner and on a scale of 1-10 how great you feel now and how open you are to love.
- Do you feel as if you have “baggage” that you drag behind you?
- Do you notice how gun shy you are about intimacy?
- Are you in a fabulous relationship right now with a sensational partner?
- Have you decided it’s just too late for you?
Medical research will tell you that it’s not your imagination if your heart hurts and aches. Since any loving relationship may end in loss, even after a 60 year marriage to the most fabulous person one of you will usually predecease the other so avoiding love isn’t a solution, is it? And since you don’t’ want to become dependent on someone else; even a healer requiring you to make calls day and night to have someone fix you; here’s how to heal your own heart; it’s part of The Heartspace® System and it always works. I’ve worked with thousands of people for 19 years who live all over the world and it always works. For 60 pages of testimonials:
Step #1: Broken Heart Syndrome -According to The Mayo Clinic “Broken Heart Syndrome” is thought to be “caused by a surge of stress hormones, such as adrenaline. Broken heart syndrome is often preceded by an intense physical or emotional event. Some potential triggers of broken heart syndrome which are related to relationships are:
- News of an unexpected death of a loved one (which may include an extremely painful break-up)
- Strong arguments
- Domestic abuse
Broken heart syndrome symptoms can mimic a heart attack. Common symptoms include: Chest pain and Shortness of breath. Any long-lasting or persistent chest pain could be a sign of a heart attack, so it's important to take it seriously and call 911 if you experience chest pain.”
You don’t want this and you can’t necessarily prevent break-ups and sometimes you’re the one who wants to break-up so what are your options?
Step #2: Prevention of Broken-heart Syndrome means that you notice the minute you become stressed and calm yourself; that you notice the minute the relationship starts to go south and you calm yourself and your partner. That way even if a break-up is best it’s a peaceful break-up; not a war. And I once stopped a break-up when my boyfriend was half-way to the closet- it took only 2 minutes and he never got there. Learning how to calm yourself down in the first minutes of a trauma so that you never experience this dangerous syndrome means you have the ability to live a healthy, peaceful and joyous life. It means you are free to love without protecting yourself or running away and instead you co-create intimacy in your relationships and you enjoy peace.
People with these skills are the only people you want to love because they’re the only ones who can do intimacy; no running, no complaining, no blaming or shaming- only peaceful loving communication and clear do-able requests- that’s love!
Step #3: More awareness of your inner conversation- How do we catch our self when we begin to panic which is the true cause of Broken Heart Syndrome? This is the process of self-actualization; or you may call it enlightenment which means that you pay more attention to what is each moment rather than living inside the mind. Whether you meditate or practice yoga know that Self-empathy is the fastest and most successful skill I have ever found to increase self-awareness and inner peace.
Step #4: Self-empathy is the skill that allows us to calm our self down and we need to master it so that we accomplish this and reach inner peace within 4 ½ minutes. And if you’re a long-time meditator like me you’ve noticed that you can’t suddenly close your eyes in a conference room or a business meeting. Why this “4 1/2 Minute Rule”? ; because at the 5 minute point, even if we don’t say or write a single word people will feel our energy; our fear, our anger or our grief.
Start here when Triggered or unable to be Empathic Silently, give yourself Self-Empathy until you come to peace.
When I think about ____ I feel ____ because I need ____; Breathe
And I feel ____ because I need ____; Breathe
And I feel ____ because I need ____; Breathe
Specific Example about a love relationship that is on the rocks:
When I think about Bob cheating on me
I feel hopeless because I need emotional safety; Breathe
And I feel furious because I need respect; Breathe
And I feel shocked because I need to be able to trust my boyfriend; Breathe
And I feel terrified because I love Bob and want to stay with him; Breathe
And I feel desperate because I need peace; Breathe
And I feel overwhelmed and I need to consider my options; Breathe
And I feel hopeless and I need certainty; Breathe
After practicing this and learning how to use this Tool to get peace you will feel far calmer and will be able to say to yourself: I know that when I’m able to stay calm I’ll be ready for a peaceful conversation with Bob and to make a practical decision about my future with Bob.
Step #5: Making sure it’s best to be “In or Out” of any relationship- If you have really observed “Bob” or “Barbara” for that matter, and if you are really calm and skilled when you talk to your partner then and only then can you know who your partner is and who your partner is not.
Let us imagine that you’ve realized that “Bob” cannot meet enough of your needs for monogamy, honesty, peace, or partnership and that you have evidence, actual data points to prove that this is true instead of just your feelings of anger or fear or grief that have caused your to disconnect. By the way why are these emotions really dangerous if left unchecked with Self-empathy? Because the people who go back again and again to a difficult or even abusive relationship are always people who make decisions based on emotions rather than facts so don’t be one of them.
Step #6: Heart-healing begins immediately- Once you have broken up you need Self-empathy every single day to avoid Broken Heart Syndrome and time will never heal your broken heart at all. You need to set aside time each day to notice what you are feeling and needing and bring yourself to peace because that is the only way to keep the dangerous adrenaline and cortisol at bay. By practicing Self-empathy every day you will begin to feel peaceful; happy; hopeful; loving; ready for your new life partner and then you can enjoy learning The Prodating System - how to date with all the skills you need and I offer a complimentary 1 hour session so you can see if this is for you.