When someone makes you angry you want to fight back; don’t you; control yourself if you want to protect your children and yourself!
Secret #1: Never fight back- avoid fighting - If you and your partner are divorced and there’s a co-parenting plan if you are smart you won’t fight back because your children are hostages. Instead you’ll work it out calmly and without using an attorney.
Secret #2: Never complain – your children will pay-Weigh the benefits of seeing more of your children and having your partner complain, yell and potentially abuse them when they aren’t with you. Is it ever worth it; no. Instead think about how to master the 7 Stages of Divorce and the skills to co-operate and co-parent
Secret #3: Never waste time worrying instead learn these skills and use them- The person you need to be is a combination of all of the legal, motivating, peacemaking and leadership skills of Mahatma Gandhi. And it didn’t hurt that he knew how to generate huge funding from two of my friend’s mega wealthy families. This is whole-brain thinking® and I can teach you this, too.
Secret #4: Practice Gratitude- yes even in this terrible situation it can become so much worse and your children need to see you being happy and peaceful instead of worried and angry as they pick up on your emotional state and they will suffer even more if they become fighters or complainers or worriers.
Secret #5: Planning makes perfect- some of my clients take months to turn their minds around and fully motivate their former spouse. Some take only a few days to get this message and shift their own behaviors and they are the luckiest ones because their lives and their children’s lives begin to improve very fast. No matter how fast you can learn you must begin. And whether you learn from me or learn Nonviolent Communication® which is another area of expertise that I teach you must select a teacher now and you must learn fast.
Secret #6: Use current events to support your goals to help your children- watching the news is key so that you can gather facts from various sources and use those data points to persuade your partner to cooperate with your own parenting plans. Examples may include taking allergic children out of a place that has too many trees and plants that trigger their allergies. For children suffering from nerves or even PTSD if you have proof of this, moving them away from cities with potential terrorist activity is helpful. Be sure to watch or read the news each and every week to stay a few steps ahead with proactive planning.
Secret #7: Co-parenting is a new skill-set that you need to develop - unless you are the 10% of divorcing and divorced couples who respect each other and care for each other no matter what!
[email protected] for a free 1 hour telephone session so that you can see if you’re willing to learn and master these skills – for you children if not for yourself!
