1. For most couples, letting your divorce become a war is not worth it to you or to your spouse. The ROI, Return on Investment, of a litigated divorce will show that when you do the math, only your attorneys will benefit…unless you cooperate now.
“When you married, you became part of the legal system, another file number. Did you realize that the overburdened legal system’s #1 goal is to make you go away? How can you defend yourself from an overburdened judge and from a litigious or vindictive mate? How can you protect your children? What options do you have in love, in lust and in law?” from my book The Marry-Go-Round, a free kindle download. To read the rest of The Marry-Go-Round and to read my other books please visit Amazon.com http://tinyurl.com/hfkml5f
2. If privacy is important to you know that court documents are made public in almost every divorce case so for the rest of your life and hundreds of years to come you will be at risk of an ongoing smear campaign if your spouse or your spouses’ friends or family want to publicize what transpired… unless you cooperate now.
3. If you and your spouse are also business partners you don’t want to destroy your business and the future economic options that owning a business can provide. In addition be your reputation in your field may suffer if you have a difficult divorce. Once litigation is completed you probably will not be able to return to “business as usual”… unless you cooperate now.
4. Isn‘t your health more important to you than your idea of more, more and more? Have you researched how many people suffer horrendous health issues during and after a difficult divorce? If all you think about is giving less, less and less you may have a lot less health unless you cooperate now.
5. The 7 Stages of Divorce© that I discovered 17 years ago are: Panic, Denial, Agony, Rage, Epiphany, Negotiation and Peace. First you’ll need an Epiphany and then you will begin to be ready to Negotiate. That’s the best Epiphany; that there is always a way to learn to communicate more effectively so that your partner is motivated to cooperate now.
"The NEGOTIATION stage requires that you first negotiate with yourself before making binding legal decisions. Once you have chosen what compromise you can endure and what is intolerable, you are ready to proceed. Each of you has needs; whether you will do anything at all in an effort to create Peace or whether you will negotiate competently for peace is up to you. Dr. Marshall Rosenberg demonstrates in his lectures and trainings that there is a unique opportunity to create peace that exists in every negotiation, and he uses the following quote from Rumi to describe it; “There is a place beyond rightness and wrongness; I’ll meet you there.” Marshall continues to explain, “The objective of NVC (Nonviolent Communication SM) is to establish a relationship based on honesty and empathy. When others trust that our primary commitment is to the quality of the relationship, and that we expect this process to fulfill everyone’s needs, then they can trust that our requests are true requests and not camouflaged demands.” from my book The Marry-Go-Round a free kindle download on Amazon The Marry-Go-Round free Amazon Download by Susan Allan
To read the rest of The Marry-Go-Round and to read my other books please visit Amazon.com http://tinyurl.com/hfkml5f
6. Always have a financial expert, a CPA with a specialty in divorce or a CDFA, certified Divorce financial analyst, provide the financial support you need; attorneys are not financial experts. And you must have the facts before you consider how to cooperate now.
Lee Slater, Divorce Financial Planner from New York, NY offers the following suggestions: “The financial decisions that clients make in divorce are often the most important financial decisions they will make in their lifetime. During negotiations, financial planners help clients evaluate settlement proposals and suggest alternatives helping clients to make informed decisions. By understanding the financial issues at stake in maintaining their lifestyles, individuals become empowered to make important decisions to complete their divorce.
Divorce Financial Planners help clients “understand, evaluate and negotiate
Settlement proposals
Tax impact of settlement proposals
Minimize taxes through the efficient allocation of personal and real estate tax deductions
Develop realistic post-divorce budgets
Set up 10/15 year post-divorce cash flow projections
Calculate appropriate amounts of life insurance to guarantee support payments
Calculate value of marital versus separate property of IRA, 401 K & pension accounts
Review retirement and educational funding plans”
from The Marry-Go-Round free Amazon Download by Susan Allan To read the rest of The Marry-Go-Round and to read my other books please visit Amazon.com http://tinyurl.com/hfkml5f
7. You love peace and hate war. Whether your marriage was peaceful and loving and you’ve just outgrown each other or you’ve moved in different directions you don’t have to ruin what was a good marriage with a war-torn divorce. If you have children the only option for you is a peaceful Mediated divorce; think of what your children’s well-being is worth to you and think of the famous Judgment of Solomon. The reason that you know about this is that for thousands of years this has epitomized the loving behavior of a parent. Now you must consider how to cooperate now.
“If someone wins in a divorce, everyone in the family loses-the family is lost!.” Marilyn Ruman, Ph.D., clinical psychologist Beverly Hills
So for these reasons and thousands more it is the perfect time to consider what you must retain in your divorce and what you can let go of- and that’s is your Epiphany.
To read the rest of The Marry-Go-Round and to read my other books please visit Amazon.com http://tinyurl.com/hfkml5f
For your free 1 hour telephone consultation please visit
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