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Here's the hard truth. A lot of men have been taught to pursue women who look delicious to their most base instincts, and sometimes what looks delicious is a Venus flytrap — ready to snap and devour him whole.
However, an intelligent, emotionally mature guy will know how to walk away once he sees the truth. The same way you have probably left a man once you saw behind their mask.
Just remember, these examples work both ways; that intelligent decent men and intelligent decent women become victims if we don't keep our wits about us and pay close attention to what a potential partner says and does.
1. They are conditioned to enjoy playing with fire
The pop cultural juggernaut imposes a belief in men that they need a hot, hot, hot woman to make them feel sexy and powerful. This is the most common cause of dreadful marriages and horrific divorces with status hungry men let their egos convince them “of course she truly loves me!”. There are naturally going to be attractive people willing to place themselves in the position of status symbol for him.
2. They are looking for a transactional relationship
Misogynistic men often believe marriage is a great Return on Investment, an ROI; the woman will be right there at home; cooking and cleaning and be available and thrilled to serve his needs.
The truth they discover is that transactional relationships, where one person is objectified, usually descend into drudgery. I've known gorgeous, brilliant, incredibly successful men who were in stale relationships because they treated their wife as an objectified cleaning lady who should wear high heels while she's stirring a pot on the stove.
3. They're looking for a business partner or to accumulate wealth
Powerful businesswomen appeal to ambitious men because they envision team efforts and big financial results. I’ve seen men whose lives, reputations, and accumulated wealth were destroyed because their greed and thirst for success in the business world were more important than finding a romantic partner who was a suitable match for them.
Then, when the marriage finally fails, there is the financial and emotional mess to clean up and those visions of financial reward are dust.
4. They don't realize it's a scam
One of the craziest cons I’ve heard is a woman who asked a man to pay for her laser hair removal because she informed that she couldn’t possibly be with him until he paid for the hair removal. Clearly, she’d never heard of the inexpensive hair removal techniques, and neither had he.
Of course, she disappeared after the last payment was made, and he never heard from her again. That’s a classic con game, if you pay a little bit of money; you’re promised a big reward; but it’s a scam!
Most people don't look for a scam in a romantic interest if they don’t have been a scammer themselves. For those of us who have been targeted by miscreants on the take, our naïveté meant we didn't understand the scammer's mindset. For a truly upstanding guy to prevent being conned, he needs to work hard to see the scam coming at 50 paces without getting sucked into the lovely façade.
5. A crush can crush you.
You would think some men would know better than longing and yearning for a dangerous woman.
“Yes, but she is so pretty, isn’t she?” a male friend or your brother may ask as he shows you a photo, even as he describes behavoir that feel like major warning signs.
A crush can crush your ability to think clearly. For many intelligent men, all of their savvy life skills go straight out the window once they meet that beauty.
6. They fall for the “bait and switch”
Imagine you’re a smart, sexy, successful man looking for a great wife. Imagine you meet someone who always looks great; her hair, her nails, her make-up, and her wardrobe are lovely. She seems to have it together, including her finances. You think you know her and you get your hopes up that this could be your "one"/
Then imagine becoming deeply involved with her and everything starts to unravel. Her finances are debts, not assets; her appearance is her party persona, a social mask and nothing more.
Now, she’s expecting this great guy to solve all of her problems... and you're in so deep you don't know what else to do.
7. They're attracted to people as intense or cruel as they are
Long ago, I heard an ex-boyfriend, who had anger mangement issues, was engaged to a woman with two young children. I warned a mutual friend of ours, saying my ex had a hair-trigger and his new wife's children would become terrified. Then, I learned the horrible truth, "Oh, her temper is probably worse!"
They did get married, and within a few weeks he annulled the marriage; he had a temper but he was willing to be on the receiving end of one.
No matter which of these scenarios shocks you the most, you can help yourself and steer clear of them.
Everyone can prevent this from happening with skills and awareness. Googling everyone you date should be as normal as doing a financial check before you commit to living together. It’s not very romantic, yet, your well being is more important, isn’t it?
