When you think about getting married you focus on who is the best match for you and finding that person for a life-long marriage, right. The other half of your attention must focus on developing the relationship so that both of you agree to marry and share a joyous life together. Then be clear that each have a similar picture of a fantastic marriage, too. This can be tricky and requires a new way of looking at each relationship which begins when we enter our Heartspace™ and we learn to connect to our self, to our deepest feelings and needs and the feelings and needs of potential partners. We do this to avoid pain and suffering and it really works!
I have received 16 marriage proposals myself and the truth is that most of the men I dated did not realize they needed marriage advice becasue we would have been a terrible long-term match because our needs were different. When I was younger I couldn't empathize the way I can now; seeing how they were different from me and in most cases a disaster waiting to happen because of a few reasons:
- Make sure all your key needs can be met because some are contradictory and rarely present in the same person. If your #1 is for this then s/he is also the opposite - that is hard to find in the same person
- WEALTH: do you assume that GENEROSITY is also present; it rarely is?
- EMOTIONAL STABILITY gives us a peaceful home life unless you also want ADVENTURE
- ROMANCE; then what about MONOGAMY – If you love a romantic person they may be very flirty – to others, too.
- MAKING A DIFFERENCE people are visionaries and rarely also possess FINANCIAL SECURITY
Please note that these A-D above match the Whole-brain thinking chart you'll see below from Herrmann International, one of my certifications.
- Opposites attracting can be great if you understand benefits and challenges: The recipe for a happy marriage with opposite is that you're different so one of you can handle any aspect of life but you need one another. One of you usually has the greater income and understands investments; one of you manages bill-paying and organizes paperwork; one of you is better with children and affection and intimacy and one of you is able to be more resourceful with outside the box ideas and resolving disagreements.This last is most important because when a couple think differently and when they see the world differently at least one of you must learn to communicate and cooperate and that is where Heartspace and the 6 Part Conversation© can save your partnership and your marriage. link to 6 Part
- The benefits of being very similar to your partner is more peace at home. The recipe for a happy marriage or partnership here is that you will experience challenges because you are both great at the same skills and neither of you are skilled at others. Thus the choice is this:
- You can have an easier time with life outside of your home and a more challenging time together or
- You can have an easier time at home and have to solve challenges outside of your home
- Developing a "Feelings and Needs" Vocabulary. If you have discussed the needs that each of you have both of you may need connection, touch, financial security and emotional safety etc. but which is #1 and which is #10? Perhaps you have a relationship in which the clothes-on, day-to-day life is very happy but the sexual connection isn't?Or are you experiencing mind-altering sex but you're partner leaves and goes home? This is one way that we hold back from true intimacy. Or for some of you this is perfect. The best list of Needs was created by one of my mentors, Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, Founder of Nonviolent Communication®. These lists are guidelines, just avoid words that are judgements or criticisms. [Feeling and Needs Vocabulary PDF - click here]
- The Marriage Manual is what you need because as you depended on your wedding planner for the wedding now you want a Marriage Manual to have a great life together.A true marriage is a union, two into one, and this is a rare accomplishment. Are you committed to generating this true union, and experiencing a Tantric Lock©? When you began dating, did you list and check off your specific preferences and needs in finding a partner, and did you then prioritize them? This Intimacy Quiz will help you clarify your preferences and will support you and your partner in understanding one another before any problems can begin. [Intimacy Quiz for Heartspace - click here.]
- Using the 6 Part Conversation© to Create a Magical Marriage The 6 Part Conversation© allows us to move from upset; fear, anger or sadness to peaceful solutions. This is one of many unique marriage tips that has also created reconciliation in many marriages and relationships and works 100% of the time when even one spouse masters and uses these skills. The key to a happy marriage is peaceful, transparent communication in which we make requests and offers and have the ability to cooperate; then you create joy and bliss for a long, long time.
To read this Special Report in its entirety and to receive all 9 of our Whitepapers as a bonus please consider purchasing our 4 Hour Video Training.