Heartspace® How to Survive An Affair

Are you desperate to survive the affair that your partner or you are having? Are you eager to find a solution that will bring you peace, honesty and trust? Are you struggling with affairs and adultery now? If most affairs begin innocently because someone is lonely, bored, angry, sad, wanting sex etc. it is also because at least one of you is not logically analyzing the future that you will be facing and realizing that no matter the depth of love or desire for a life together an affair carries a huge weight of stress for everyone. If you are already in the middle of this emotional roller coaster then you have a few options and there is no right or wrong with Heartspace® skills. Instead you will learn how to understand your needs and the needs of the person you are seeing and begin to have clarity so that you can make the best choices for yourself and for all involved. I understand because I have been on both sides of an affair and I can help you no matter what your goal because Heartspace® allows you to create peaceful solutions and monogamy by choice that truly work for everyone.


The Keys to Surviving an Affair

If you are not having an affair yourself, you may have discovered that your spouse is having an affair. Your first response will be the rage, grief or terror that you experience as well as the shock that this has happened. And at first you won’t be able to think about your desire to transform your relationship, right, because the pain will be too great.

  1. Master your fear, anger and/or sadness with Self-empathy because you must turn these stories around that are the real cause of your pain so that you can take back your power and you can only do that if you can regain peace within 4 ½ minutes whenever you begin to feel frightened, angry or sad.


  1. Master your inner conversation with The 4 Questions Inquiry because you must turn these stories around and take back your power and you can only do that if you also regain peace. (4 Questions of Inquiry link)
When Susan Allan teaches this system of inquiry it replaces the programming of suffering with the program of mental health which allows the person to be free.” Rev. Bernard Goodman
  1. Your partner lied because he or she didn’t want to break-up with you. The good news is that the connection is still there and some of your partner’s needs are being met in your relationship which is why your partner has stayed. Now your job if you want the partnership is to meet more needs FAST!


  1. Discover when the affair really started by investigating your relationship 6 months to 1 year before the other person entered the picture as that is when an affair begins.


  1. Understand that any reconciliation and any great relationship is “100% 0%” which means that if you are committed to healing your relationship and recreating your marriage it’s all about you. The #1 reason to master Self-empathy or any of the Heartspace™ skills is your commitment to having peace rather than all this suffering and the 2nd reason is that you love your partner and want the relationship to evolve and transform so that there is no room for affairs.


  1. Many affairs are based on sex or love addiction or addiction to alcohol and drugs. “1 committed family member can make all the difference in transforming addiction with Heartspace® for Sobriety. No matter which role you play in the affair and I have been on both sides, your emotions have a huge impact on the outcome
    1. If you love your partner and want to save your relationship then fear or anger or grief will not facilitate reconciliation.
    2. If you love the person with whom you are having an affair your fear or anger or grief will not help your case at all.
    3. Just in the last year I have worked with clients who left marriages because of their partners emotional state and I have worked with clients who returned to the partners because of their partners calm emotional states.

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